Thursday, March 12, 2009

Joblessness

Being 53 years old now, and knowing that I'll be officially jobless upon my return to the States has certainly made an impact on my psyche.

Like many people who have lost their jobs, I'll have to move from where I'm living, since I will no longer be able to afford to live there (unless some miracle happens, and I find another job nearby). Unlike many people who have lost their jobs, I will not be homeless, however.

I'll just have to move to another part of the country, which might well be an adventure, but will none the less be a great sadness. I find my struggle against seasonal affective disorder (appropriately abbreviated "SAD") to be much less taxing when I'm living in a place where at least some flowers bloom outside all year round!

And seeing as I've lived the better part of the last almost 20 years in just that sort of place, moving away could prove to be quite an internal upheaval. Most of my friends in the Society of Jesus now live out there, as do most of my other friends.

There is a lot of good news in all this, however.

I am not obsessing over being jobless, which is a relief.

I'm also not massively resentful, or engaging in the I-went-off-to-be-of-service-to-Soldiers-in-a-war-zone-and-wound-up-losing-my-job pity party.

Though it has crossed my mind.

In the past, when some huge change loomed on the horizon, my broken brain would immediately jump to 'the sun is burning out' catastroprognostication (how's *that* for a neologism?), and that has not (yet) happened.

I know that what my friend Gil G, who went to thousands upon thousands of AA and Al-Anon meetings before he died with about 30 years' sobriety, used to say to me is still true: The Higher Power doesn't just string us along only to drop us when the going gets tough.

My gratitude to him for that abiding, calming truth knows no bounds. He's actually been dead now longer than I knew him before he died, but the power of that statement stays with me and sustains me to this day.

All that being said, I'd rather have a job to come back to, and not have to move away!

It will be what it is.

Blessings and peace to one and all,


Fr. Tim, SJ
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3 comments:

SEG said...

Hang in there, we can always use you at the kennel!!

jmason@stanford.edu said...

This makes me sad :(

Anonymous said...

Since being laid off in Nov. 08, I've practiced my 12 Steps more rigorously than ever, and am closer to my long desired goal to pray without ceasing, especially "God, please remove my fear and direct my attention to what you would have me be." A.A. p.68

The synchronisity of my needs being met, and coincidences of occurrances to my benefit are bringing big smiles.

For men and women who seek to live a Faith full life, all is well. Our cups do run over, and the table is laid before us in the presence of our Fear!

Love 'n hugs
msg :-) aka MaryShields

 
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