Sunday, January 11, 2009

Expectations are premeditated resentments


One difficulty about being CONUS is that there simply are too many people to see than I have hours in the day. Now, this is not a complaint on my part! But it has already led to a number of complaints from friends whom I treasure, but simply don't have the time to spend time with on this very short trip.

I'd prefer to be able to just be home for good already, so that I'd have plenty of opportunity to make the rounds of everyone with whom I'd love to be spending time.

Now that I've been CONUS for a bit more than a week, my return to a war zone is looming larger on the horizon. A number of people have been asking me about what I'm feeling about returning. As I wrote in an earlier blog post, I'm not really dreading being back there; I'm just not really looking forward to *getting* there. In that post, I believe I mentioned that, "like a fine wine, I don't travel well" anymore, given my advanced age and all.

A now-former friend wrote to me in response to that statement: "You are definitely NOT like a fine wine; you're an old whiner."

Sigh.

Be that as it may, I'm feeling a bit sad that I'm not able to luxuriate in the company of my many good friends, and can't even *see* some of them, let alone be in their presence. I'll have to wait -- we'll all have to wait -- for that, it seems, until my return from this deployment.

So, my apologies to all who are feeling sad, hurt, disappointed, dised, or otherwise rankled that I'm not as available as you'd hoped / expected / wanted / deserved. It's certainly not for lack of desire on my part!

"I do not cease to give thanks for you as I remember you in my prayers." (NRSV: Eph 1:16)

Blessings and peace to one and all,


Fr. Tim, SJ

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