Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Play mist-y for me


I've heard a number of people grousing about how "over-hyped" the H1N1 flu situation is, as if it's some sort of conspiracy.

Years ago I did a post-doc in molecular virology with a researcher at Yale University (who had lab space right down the hall from where I did my doctorate in molecular neurobiology). I guess that's one reason why I've been following the flu story with interest.

Imagine my surprise (and alarm, to be honest) when I found out that we had three documented cases of H1N1 in our unit shortly after arriving at Summer Camp - North! Fortunately, this didn't catch anyone else's attention, because as it turned out, so many cases turned up, they stopped keeping count.

One of my buddies, who works in the medical field on Post, told me the virus they were seeing was causing only very mild symptoms, and therefore there was no cause for concern. He's not so optomistic about what might happen later in the flu season, however.

I'm told we'll eventually have to receive the H1N1 immunization, but that it's not ready yet. Prior to shipping out to Europe, however, we all had to be vaccinated with the regular flu vaccine.

Some people groused about this, but seeing as I've been getting a flu shot each year for at least the past twenty years, it was not a big deal for me.

Except....

When we all lined up to get vaccinated, it was not really very cold out according to the thermometer, but soon the wind kicked up and the wind chill became considerable. All of my cold-weather gear had been packed away in advance of our exodus from Summer Camp - North (hooray!), so I wound up standing around in the arctic blast for about 90 minutes.

After all that shivering, when I finally got inside and was ready to get my shot, I was informed that the Post had not gotten enough injectable vaccine, and since I'm over age 50 (thanks for reminding me!), I was not eligible to get the nasal mist flu vaccination (of which there was more than enough).

That means that none of us over the age of 50 got vaccinated, even though there's plenty of evidence that the very young and the very not-young are most susceptible to getting sick from the virus.

Sigh.

Blessings and peace to one and all,


Fr. Tim, SJ
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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Wedding bells!


During our recent few days off, SPC C flew out to California, wound up driving over eight hundred miles, and got married to his fiance. They'd been dating for five years and had been formally engaged for a year.

It's been quite something to be on the outside looking in over the past weeks, as SPC C and his beloved have been engaging in myriad text messages and serial marathon phone calls regarding the upcoming nuptials.

Making things even worse, the night before our four-day pass started, we were all put on lock-down, and had a shake-down which started after midnight. We were told that all passes had been canceled, and things looked pretty bleak.

Fortunately, pass was reinstated, SPC C was able to make his plane connections, and the celebrations commenced.

Congratulations to SPC and Mrs. SPC C!!

Blessings and peace to one and all,


Fr. Tim, SJ
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Monday, September 28, 2009

Requiem aeternum


My grandmother died thirty-eight years ago today. My family had moved out to one of the suburbs near where she was living, in order to be closer to her (and probably to avoid the encroaching urban blight, which has since decimated the old neighborhood), but we were only in that new house a short time before Gran died.

I'm amazed at grief's ability to re-appear, fresh and urgent, even after such a long time. Fortunately, however, unlike the first time an intense grief shows up, a long-ago loss arrives and evanesces within a short time.

But it hangs around long enough to take the breath away once again, and even unleash a torrent of tears now and again....

Blessings and peace to one and all,


Fr. Tim, SJ
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Sunday, September 27, 2009

No rest for the wicked


As I might have mentioned in the recent past, sleeping in a room with about 19 other guys in close proximity is not my idea of an environment conducive of sleep -- at least for me.

Like his predecessor before him, SPC C can sleep anywhere, anytime. Unlike MSG McG, however, SPC C snores a lot more, a lot more often, and a lot louder. Coupled with all the other snorers in the room, that's a lot of snoring.

Having lived essentially on my own for the past thirty years -- or at least in a room of my own, with its attendant privacy and quiet -- I have generally struggled to get restful sleep for the past five weeks of being here at Summer Camp - North. (There was actually one night down at Summer Camp - The Haunting when I had a room to myself, and was able to sleep reasonably well.)

So this weekend when I've been at my sister and brother-in-law's newly-purchased -- and blessedly empty -- house, I've had a firm mattress and box spring to sleep on, and no one (other than the ghosts of the recently-departed owner and his wife) else to snore, rattle around, or otherwise disturb my sleep.

It's been like manna from heaven!

Thanks, M & S!

Blessings and peace to one and all,


Fr. Tim, SJ
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Saturday, September 26, 2009

Hiatus?


It's that time again: I may have to take a short break from posting to this blog for a time; I'm not sure how long the hiatus will be.

Rest assured, gentle readers, that I'll be back in the saddle as soon as I can, with more musings. I'll keep a running tab while I'm unable to post, so that once I'm back connected to the "internet tubes," I'll be able to update you on my goings-on.

In the meantime, let's continue to pray for one another.

Blessings and peace to one and all,


Fr. Tim, SJ

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Friday, September 25, 2009

Rain


It has rained more often than not, since we've been here at Summer Camp - North.

The down-side to the beauty of the brilliantly red sunrises (see yesterday's post) is that it heralds more rain.

We train as we fight, and if it ain't rainin', we ain't trainin'.

Or something.

Blessings and peace to one and all,


Fr. Tim, SJ

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Sunrise

The other morning the sky was ablaze with color as I walked to the chow hall. I was amazed at how many of my confreres claimed not to have noticed. These photos have not been retouched at all; the colors are as they were when I snapped the pictures.


Hooray for such beauty!






Blessings and peace to one and all,


Fr. Tim, SJ



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Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A training vignette... addendum


I mentioned previously that I'd tried for a number of days to arrange to meet with the "person of influence" I was told I needed to speak to, prior to last Saturday's big military operation. The meeting never happened, so my part of that operation could not take place.

Oh well.

Now, faithful readers of the blog will have noted that I often mention the Army's mantra, "We train as we fight."

Nice sentiment.

I'm really getting an opportunity to learn what that means.

For example, in the spirit of "we train as we fight," yesterday I actually -- finally -- *did* meet with the "person of influence" I was supposed to chat with last week. Because I'm a non-combatant, I was accompanied by my Chaplain Assistant, SPC C, who sat in the room with us, his trusty weapon at his side.

That, for sure, is an example of how "we train as we fight," since he will accompany me to any such meetings I have while we're deployed.

The conversation was pretty interesting, seeing as we also had an interpreter in the room, who sat on the other side of me, and behind me. I tried to remember to look my counterpart in the eye while I was speaking, knowing that what I was saying at that moment would very soon be translated by my "terp" as they're commonly called.

A couple of times in the course of the forty-minute conversation, I talked a bit longer than I should have (is anyone surprised?) -- something which was pointed out to me by trainers at the end of the experience. Truth be told, though, the trainers found it hard to come up with negative stuff to say during the after-action review (AAR).

I think everyone in the room was a bit surprised that I'd brought a religious icon as a gift for my counterpart, who was (according to the script) a Serbian Orthodox priest. They were even more surprised that I was able to quote the recently-deceased Serbian Orthodox Patriarch, Pavle: "Wisdom will preserve us from wolves tearing us apart, and kindness will prevent us from turning into wolves."

It was actually an interesting and fun role-playing exercise.

And in the tradition of "we train as we fight," our conversation of Tuesday afternoon *actually* took place the previous Friday, so I'm now learning that time-travel is part of the Army arsenal.

(I wonder if I wasn't supposed to disclose this?)

Blessings and peace to one and all,


Fr. Tim, SJ

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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Once upon a time.... addendum


So the antics which led to the beginnings of this story seem to be going on again, though not as blatantly, I suppose.

At least two of the Chaplains I spoke with when I was at Summer Camp - South a couple of months ago mentioned that there was again no time built into the training schedule for trainees to get to church services on the weekends. That was a big disappointment for me to hear!

I hoped it would be different here at Summer Camp - North, but alas! it is not.

The first weekend I was here I celebrated two Sunday Masses (one Saturday evening, and one Sunday afternoon). We had a total of 100 personnel who signed the roster (they keep track -- who knew?) for both of those liturgies.

This past weekend, because it's been so hard for people to get to church services of any kind, due to the training schedule, I celebrated four Sunday liturgies (in the Army, every day is Sunday).

A grand total of 24 people were able to worship with me, even though we had twice as many options for Mass. I'm told other worship services have seen a decline in attendance as well.

So much for what happened at Summer Camp - South a couple of years ago!

Blessings and peace to one and all,


Fr. Tim, SJ

Monday, September 21, 2009

Hidden beauty


I've made a point of trying to notice little things that others might not see when we're out and about -- all the while keeping an eye out for malefactors and their malfeasance. The other day, for example, on the way to the chow hall I noticed some flowers in the grass by the side of the road.

There aren't many wildflowers blooming here -- partly because it's so built-up, I suppose, and partly because it's getting to be the end of the growing season, and plants are getting themselves ready for the tough midwestern winter.

In any event, I saw some chicory struggling to maintain itself in the patch of grass alongside the road. I suspect it went unnoticed by most other bipedal mammals passing by...


It's hidden beauties like this, especially in the midst of nonsense, that bring a measure of calm and gratitude to my soul.


Blessings and peace to one and all,



Fr. Tim, SJ

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Sunday, September 20, 2009

A training vignette


We're in the midst of our final training, a multi-day exercise that involves 24-hour operations. People are getting tired, and I'm hearing more and more of the Soldiers counting down how many days we have left until we get out of here.

I'm trying just to take things one moment at a time. Today when I heard someone mention how many days are left I was surprised, because it's a small number and I've been deliberately trying not to take on more than just what's in front of me at the moment.

Our Staff worked incredibly diligently on the final orders for this exercise, only to be told the day before the exercise was to start that significant changes had been directed by echelons above reality. Talk about pressure!

The Battalion Staff functioned brilliantly, and I heard one of the Company Commanders say, as he was briefing his Officers and senior NCOs, "the Battalion Staff did such a good job on this OPORD (operations order), that everything we need is spelled out in detail, so all we have to do is implement it." Not bad at all!

Because a significant number of our Soldiers were going to go back to Summer Camp - The Haunting and perform what seemed the be the most important -- and possibly dangerous -- part of the Operation, I arranged to go down there with them.

Prior to the start of their piece of the action, I was supposed to meet with someone from the "town" on Friday to 'establish a relationship' with that person. Then, on Saturday, once the action started, I could knock on the door and inform the person about what was going on, and why it was in the best interest of peace and security and that sort of thing.

Since the person is influential, it was hoped that this kind of personal interaction could help in the overall effort to maintain calm.

Looked good on paper, and right up my alley, so I requested the requisite meeting on Wednesday when I learned of my role. I requested the meeting on Thursday. I requested the meeting on Friday.

The meeting never took place because the people running our training (the same outfit as those at Summer Camp - South, as it turns out) never scheduled it. This was a big piece of the Operation, as it turns out, and it never got planned by the people who oversee the training (they hire locals to play-act, and no one had been hired, evidently).

I went down to Summer Camp - South, anyway. We spent the night, and in the wee hours of the morning I was up to visit with Soldiers and pray with them if they wished.

The Operation was supposed to start by an indicated time, but my guys had everything good to go 15 minutes before the "not-later-than (NLT)" time.

As it turned out, however, the actors and directors of this training must have figured that the start time didn't apply to them or something, because a lot of them showed up on post after troops had been posted at intersections, screening the traffic attempting to go past.

They turned people away, which was their assignment.

Those people were supposed to be on "the other side" in this situation, which was their assignment, but couldn't take their places.

One person, in particular, was pretty hot about not being let on post. "But I'm one of your Trainers!" he barked into the communications equipment he demanded from the Soldiers at that intersection. He was talking to the Company Commander. "I'm afraid you won't be training us *today*, Sergeant," replied the Commander. "Our cordon is set, and my Soldiers have orders not to let anyone inside it. Have a nice day."

What had been projected to be perhaps a six-hour mission was executed (flawlessly) in about three hours' time.

Rain had been forecast, but instead it was a beautiful, clear late-summer morning.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Getting to know you


I've been with my new unit for almost two full months now.

There are over 300 of us in the Battalion, quite a number of whom came to us from an Infantry unit not long before I arrived.

So we're getting to know one another.

I don't often forget faces, but I have a difficult time with names. Thus I'm very happy the Army has the custom of placing Soldiers' last names on the front of their uniforms!

Except for the physical training (PT) uniform. Then I'm in trouble, especially with some of the Junior Enlisted Soldiers (Private, Private First Class, and Specialist) from the Line Companies, whom I don't always see every day.

But as time marches on, and we march from here to there, I'm slowly learning to put names to faces, and then to remember the correct rank with the correct name and the correct face.

No wonder I'm tired a lot!

(Of course, not being able to sleep well in the barracks might have something to do with that, too, I suppose....)

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

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Friday, September 18, 2009

Once upon a time.... pt. 3


Upon my return home, I was upbraided once again for "jumping the Chain [of Command]," but by that point, it was old-hat. Not long after my return, I went on Temporary Duty to a two-week course in Texas, and life returned to normal.

I went to Chaplain School shortly thereafter, and less than a month after those 90 days (of hell) were over I learned that my name was on the top of the list of Chaplains from my State to go to Iraq.

Over a year ago I alluded to the fact that I had initially been slated to go to what I call the "Readers' Digest" training course for Iraq, but someone had a change of heart and decided to send me to Summer Camp - South instead.

Gak.

This was not good news for Tim.

I'd not left Summer Camp - South on particularly good terms the year before (and it was only slightly more than a year since all that transpired).

Sigh.

About ten days before I was to report in, I was on the phone with someone there, and when I mentioned that I'd been there before and what had happened, he audibly caught his breath and said, "So *you're* the one!"

Great.

This was off to a good start, I thought.

Once on the ground again at Summer Camp - South, each of the Chaplains assigned to the place said the exact same thing to me.

Even better.

What I'd not realized in the year that had passed is that the person ultimately responsible for the training program at Summer Camp - South (and many other posts, as it turns out) had heard about my shenanigans, and before he retired, put out a directive that Soldiers be given a three-hour block of time once per week, during which no training was to go on so they could attend Services if they wished.

Upon being told of this fact, I was then upbraided by the person who told me this for "jumping the Chain."

The more things change, the more they stay the same, I guess!

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Once upon a time.... pt. 2


Two days after my encounter with the General, the other shoe dropped.

Someone important from Summer Camp - South paid a visit to the FOB where we were staying, and before we all had sat down, someone else from the unit deploying to Iraq (whom I'd thought would have been an advocate) told this guy, "Sir! I've got to tell you that *I'm* not the one who went outside the chain here!"

That sound you just heard and the bump you felt was the wheels of the bus rolling over my lifeless corpse.

Thanks, Sir. You really know how to support a guy.

(I found out later that he was concerned that he might not come out on the promotion list to be published shortly thereafter, and I guess he wanted to make sure that some upstart Chaplain wannabe didn't upset his apple cart.)

If that weren't bad enough, my comrade said exactly the same thing twice more during the rather strained and awkward conversation that followed.

A thousand thanks for each of those, Sir! May I have another?

Making the encounter even more surreal and uncomfortable was the fact that the visitor had a smile that never changed shape (think: Joker from the Batman franchise). It was odd and disquieting. In excelsis.

I basically couldn't sit down for a week after the verbal barrage finished. (Anyone from the military will infer the technical phrase to describe this experience.)

Oh well. This is not a career for me; I knew that from before Day One.

As difficult as the prior experience and its aftermath proved to be, I surprised myself by plunging forward into the barrage. I didn't know I had it in me.

My goal in joining the military at such an old age was to try to be of service to Soldiers. Despite not being able to sit down figuratively, and the incredible heat and humidity of the non-air-conditioned tents notwithstanding, the night after the second visitor showed up, I slept really well.

But wait, there's more!

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Once upon a time.... pt. 1


Back at Summer Camp - South a couple of months ago, I had occasion to speak with a number of Chaplains who were on the ground at the time. It seems as though some of the problems which led to my having really, really, really annoyed a two-star General there back a couple of years ago now, have returned.

At the time of the annoyance, I'd been sent to Summer Camp - South to provide religious support to a unit from my State that was mobilized and on its way Down Range. In the ten weeks they'd been there at Summer Camp - South, Soldiers had only been able to make it to one Catholic Mass. (Easter had occurred within the time frame I'm talking about.)

Moreover, few others were going to religious service, as well.

It seems as though those who were running the training at Summer Camp - South were telling Soldiers, "You're welcome to go to services, but just remember this: While you're away, your buddies will be training, and when you return THEY WILL REPEAT THAT SAME TRAINING WITH YOU."

(How do you spell 'unconstitutional'?)

On top of lots of other things that were amiss (I won't even mention the fact that for two of the five days I was there, I could not find a single sheet of toilet tissue in any of the portable toilets at the FOB (forward operating base) the Soldiers had been sent to....), the "suggestion" that Soldiers not exercise their Constitutionally-guaranteed right to practice religion according to their conscience seemed too much for those guys.

Soldiers in that unit were massively demoralized, and I was beset by individuals (most of whom I'd never met before) asking me to "tell someone when you get home, PLEASE."

It was highly disconcerting. Especially upsetting to me was seeing the Soldiers I had known from my own unit who volunteered to go on that deployment appearing so listless and disspirited.

So there I was one evening in the DFAC -- one of the only three air-conditioned structures on the FOB there in the hot, humid Deep South -- standing around having dinner. (As another example of "we train as we fight," the people running the training at Summer Camp - South had set up the DFAC at the FOB in such a way that all the tabletops were at chest height -- with no chairs or stools. This meant, then, that Soldiers had to eat all of their meals standing up. They were out at that FOB for weeks at a time... Do the math to calculate their morale.)

I'd sidled up to two NCOs having dinner, neither of whom I'd met before. After asking if I could join them, I asked them how they'd rate their morale, and that of their fellow Infantrymen. The junior of the two (a Staff Sergeant) replied, in a heavy voice, "Well, Sir, when we got here it was about eight out of ten. Now it's zero. They've pile-drived it out of us."

The other NCO, a Sergeant First Class (as was SFC McG when he and I were Down Range), said to me, "Sir, I'll have sixteen good years of Active Service at the end of this deployment. That's four years out from Active Duty retirement. My enlistment is up shortly after I get back, and I'm not going to re-enlist. This mobilization has completely soured me on the military."

I was completely taken aback.

Shortly after this brief interchange, I noticed a Soldier walk into the DFAC who had two stars on his chest. I had no idea who he was, but I figured that there aren't all that many Major Generals out there, so he was probably somebody.

I had been promising Soldiers that I'd "tell somebody," figuring that I'd report what I'd seen and heard and experienced at Summer Camp - South to Chaplains back in California. But here was an opportunity to put my money where my mouth was.

When I was in school I was pretty good at math, and found myself performing a little mental calculus rapidly in my head.

I said to myself, "Self? What's the worst they can do to me? Take away my retirement? (I'm too old to get it.) Not promote me? (I have a big mouth; I'm not going to get promoted.) Send me to Iraq?" (How prescient, eh?)

My Dad was in Field Artillery, and I'd been hanging around with Tankers (of the M1A1 Abrams tank variety), so I figured I could probably acquire a target and send a round down range. The guy looked as though he wasn't there to eat (probably a good choice, considering), so I threw caution to the wind and engaged him in a conversation as he passed by our table.

I have a somewhat interesting story, I'm told, and the General was quickly intrigued and we had a pleasant conversation.

Until I let him have it.

Boy, did he get annoyed! (There are other, more descriptive words, but they're probably not very polite or appropriate to this medium.) He tried to tell me that Infantry aren't happy unless they're complaining (true, up to a point, but my Tankers were not Infantry). He parried and I countered. I had a response to each of his points, and he became even more annoyed.

I knew I was in real trouble when he asked for, and wrote down, my first name. That's when I noticed that he had already written down my last name.

Sigh.

I found out later that he was a *very* important person in terms of the unit conducting the training at Summer Camp - South. Clearly he was such an important person, no one had wanted to tell him the truth of what was going on there.

He left in a huff, and I waited for the boom to fall, which it eventually did.

More on that later.

(By the way, in the realm of "we train as we fight," never once in my movement around the MND-Baghdad battlespace for eleven months (more than thirty posts of varying sizes) did I encounter a DFAC in which military personnel had to stand at tables to eat their meals....)

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

It's back!


My laptop got back from Dell yesterday afternoon, but I had so much going on with the "peace-keeping game" going one here, and a trip off-post last night, that I was only able to put the hard drive back in late last night.

Looks good!

Thanks for your assistance, Mr. Bernier!!

After a rather long day, a friend of mine who works here on Post came by the barracks and picked me up so he and his wife could take me out to dinner to celebrate my 30 years of being clean and sober. Both of them go to a lot of AA meetings, and it sounds as though Pete might be going to start going to some Al-Anon meetings as well.

Some friends of mine insist that Al-Anon is "advanced recovery" for alcoholics....

Anyway, before we went out for dinner, I wound up meeting a bunch of their friends who also go to a lot of AA meetings, and they seemed pretty excited for me that I've been sober a while now.

It's funny how I wind up meeting all these people in recovery programs wherever I go, isn't it?

Even though I only met Pete and Brandi for the first time when I arrived here at Summer Camp - North, I feel as though i've known them for years. Dinner was great (it was a delight to be away from Post!), and Pete even went to the trouble of getting me a really nice medallion with a Roman numeral "30" on it -- pretty thoughtful, eh?

My friend Stan was celebrating 30 years sober last night -- he goes to a *lot* of AA and Al-Anon meetings -- and miracle of miracles, he actually answered the phone when I called expecting to leave him a message (as happens 99% of the times I call him). Stan actually knew me when I was drinking, and he reminded me of some situations I'm grateful I never have to repeat again, one day at a time, as long as I don't pick up that first drink.

Hooray for the Higher Power!

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Monday, September 14, 2009

Peace-keeping games


We're going to Kosovo to help foster a safe and secure environment for the locals, as well as their freedom of movement. This means that our training here is supposed to be preparing us for that kind of mission.

One constantly hears people saying "we train as we fight," and while that's a laudable sentiment, I suppose, I'm finding it's taking more than a modicum of "willing suspension of disbelief" to buy into it.

The folks running the training here seem to be making it up as they go along, which could strike a person as odd, seeing as we'll be the twelfth iteration of US personnel going to Kosovo.

They'll be running a "game" meant to simulate our being over there running missions, with the goal that it be as realistic as possible. However, they've only given us four laptop computers (for our whole Headquarters Company) to use for the duration of this "game". This means that as Chaplain, I'm sharing a computer with three other -- very busy -- Staff sections.

Having worked out of a Division Headquarters when MSG McG and I were Down Range (when he and I had four laptops between us), I rather doubt I'll be sharing one computer with three other Staff sections when we get where we're going.

When I attempted to point this out to the powers that be, I was promptly shot down for "not playing the game."

There's a lot of truth to the adage, "There's the right way, and the wrong way, and the Army way to do things," I guess!

We train as we peace-keep.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

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Sunday, September 13, 2009

"Home" again...


We got back to the barracks here at Summer Camp - North, and back to the awful beds and crowded living space. Ah! Home sweet home.

While it was nice having some measure of privacy, and a *much* better bed to sleep on, not to mention individual showers, it's actually good to be back.

Go figure.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Casper


One of the Company Commanders had been amused by his Soldiers' concerns over the supposed haunting of our training site, and realized that a number of his troops were in the old hospital/research building (which was simply vacated as if everyone present had all gone out for a cigarette and had never come back) snooping around.

He grabbed a white sheet from his bed, and snatched up his flashlight with a red lens and sprang into action.

CPT G entered the building from the ground floor in the back, and stealthily crept down corridors until he came to the elevator. He got in, threw the sheet over his head, and punched all the buttons.

As the elevator stopped at each floor, he held the door open until he could hear noises being made by his less-than-stealthy underlings. Finding the floor they were on, he left the elevator, and made his way toward the sounds.

Carefully rounding a corner, he saw them a few yards ahead. He flicked on the flashlight under the sheet, and let out a low and rather sinister cackle.

The Soldiers screamed bloody murder and high-tailed it down the stairs and out of the building.

CPT G couldn't stop laughing.

I wish I'd thought of doing that!

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

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Friday, September 11, 2009

9/11


Eight years ago this morning I was in the car on the way from Livermore, CA back to the Bay Area, having done the funeral the day before for a good friend who had gone to a lot of AA and Al-Anon meetings. She'd managed to stay sober through the death of her husband, and the suicide of her son, whom she'd found dead in her home.

I promised her a month or so earlier, that I'd do her funeral, even though I was living in the midwest at the time.

That Tuesday morning, as my friend Brian drove me to town so our friend Mary could take me to the airport while he was at work, the Bay Area NPR station interrupted its broadcast to mention that word was coming over the wires about some problem with the World Trade Center in New York, and the on-air announcer made the decision to switch the broadcasting to the live feed from D.C.

It was surreal and disturbing.

Mary hadn't been listening to the news, and thought we were kidding when we told her to turn on the TV when we got there. Shortly thereafter, when the first building collapsed, I remember my complete inability to believe what I was seeing, which was then compounded as the second tower pancaked.

I'd broken a tooth the night before, so Mary called her dentist, who was able to squeeze me in. The TVs in the dental office were all tuned to what was happening in New York and DC and Pennsylvania, and so distracted me from the present moment that I completely forgot I had gotten a temporary filling until it broke while I was in Thailand in the summer of 2004.

If anyone had told me on 11SEP01 that I'd be wearing the uniform of the United States Army with a combat deployment patch on my right shoulder by 11SEP08, and that a year later I'd be into a second deployment with the Army, I'd have thought the person completely insane.

Let's pray that the fear that inspired the cowardly actions of a few on 11SEP01, and the fear inspired in so many as a result of those actions might be outshone by truth and tolerance based in love: "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear...." (1 Jn 4:18)

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ
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Oleoresin capsicum


Tuesday afternoon the Soldiers in Headqaurters and Bravo Companies experienced the 'joys' of O.C. Thursday the Soldiers in Alpha and Charlie Companies suffered the same fate. Whereas Soldiers were given an option as to whether to be tazed, there was no element of choice involved in the O.C. training.

Oleoresin capsicum.

Pepper spray.

"An Appraisal of Technologies of Political Control," published in 1998 by the European Parliament Scientific and Technological Options Assessment (STOA) had this to say about pepper spray:

"The effects of peppergas are far more severe, including temporary blindness which last from 15-30 minutes, a burning sensation of the skin which last from 45 to 60 minutes, upper body spasms which force a person to bend forward and uncontrollable coughing making it difficult to breathe or speak for between 3 to 15 minutes. For those with asthma, taking other drugs, or subject to restraining techniques which restrict the breathing passages, there is a risk of death. The Los Angeles Times has reported at least 61 deaths associated with police use of pepper spray since 1990 in the USA, and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) documented 27 deaths in custody of people sprayed with peppergas in California alone, since 1993."


Wow. That was published over 10 years ago now. Lovely stuff, O.C., eh?

And it wasn't just as if people were sprayed in the face with this stuff (they were), each person had to run an obstacle course -- blinded or semi-blind -- which included having to fight off and/or subdue attackers or other unruly persons.

Since this obstacle course involved the use of a riot baton, which is a weapon (albeit less-than-lethal, usually), I did not participate in the training. As a consequence, then, I didn't get O.C.'d, either. There was only one other person in the whole Battalion down here at Summer Camp - The Haunting who didn't get sprayed (he'd had Lasik surgery on his eyes less than a month ago).

I have taken some grief already for not participating, but I'm very grateful I managed to avoid the experience.

Everyone who went through it appeared to be in agony, if not during the obstacle course itself, then certainly when they got to the decontamination station (chest-height shower heads spraying cool water). The water activated and spread the contamination even as it diluted the water-based pepper spray.

I positioned myself at the end of the obstacle course, equipped with many bottles of Johnson's Baby Shampoo (the only stuff that works, evidently because of its 'no more tears' formula) and lots of tri-fold paper towels. As each victim came off the course, I gave him or her a towel soaked in the shampoo to lay across the eyes (no rubbing!), in the attempt to get the shampoo into the eyes themselves.

It was awful, watching people I've grown to care about suffer like that.

Some had a fairly easy time of it, to be honest, but the vast majority of the hundreds who went through the training, looked awful as they came off the course, and got worse, briefly, as they went through the decon process. A few became highly agitated and needed to be physically restrained by other Soldiers as they were at the water station. Some convinced themselves they couldn't breathe.

One Soldier got into the course and ran from the area to the water station before finishing. He was forced to go back through the course after everyone else had finished; this meant he again got sprayed. Poor guy.

He again got part-way through the obstacle course, and again did not finish.

It was brutal training.

A couple of guys who got O.C.'d on Tuesday were still having problems with their eyes more than 24 hours later.

Because I was around so many people who were in so much pain, and there was so little I could do to make the situation better, I found myself once again very grateful for all the people in my life over the past 30 years who've gone to lots of Al-Anon meetings, and who have taught me that "messiah" is not part of *my* job description.

The O.C. obstacle course lasted three hours on Tuesday, and more than four on Thursday.

I was completely wiped out after each session.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

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Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Tazing


We're going to Kosovo to help ensure a "Safe and Secure Environment" for that neck of the woods. This means that my Field Artillery unit is not taking any of its big guns (literally), so no "pull string, go boom" this time around.

Instead, the line units will pretty much be functioning as Military Police -- without being able to wear the MP brassard on their uniform (except for the MP Company that's coming from a territory off the continental United States). Therefore, instead of blowing things up, my Soldiers will be doing their best to keep things (and people!) quiet.

To that end, during this training, they're learning non-lethal crowd control methods.

One aspect of the training this week was learning how to deploy a Tazer. Since the Tazer is a weapon -- supposedly non-lethal, but a weapon none the less -- I'm not allowed (nor do I want) to carry one. I'll never be in a circumstance where I deploy one, as a consequence, but I went to the training anyway.

Part of the training involved the instructors tazing the students.

This did not fill me with the kind of anticipation a small child feels on Christmas morning as he or she sees the tree with the presents underneath for the first time.

About half the Headquarters Company -- including the Battalion Commander and Command Sergeant Major -- were tazed. Those two were in the first group of four to get hit with the current.

Did you know that the initial jolt from the tazer is 50,000 Volts?

That's right, 50,000.

There are 15 pulses of electricity per second for either three or five seconds. After the initial 50,000 V charge, the subsequent shocks are less than 10% of that, I think, but it hardly makes a difference, to my mind, anyway.

Four Soldiers with their ACU (uniform) shirt removed (just in their undershirts), and sans any electronic devices or metal objects were instructed to sit on the floor, on the wrestling mats which occupied about a third of the room. Legs were interlocked, and then arms were interlocked, and subjects were instructed to clasp their hands into a fist, and then to relax.

Yeah. Right. Relax.

The instructor would say, "Tazer, tazer, tazer" and then hit them with the juice.

All four fell back onto the mats, and writhed. Some shouted. It seemed to go on for a lot longer than three seconds. Many cameras recorded the experience for posterity. Or at least, YouTube.

The second group of four then readied themselves. Again the instructor said he'd say "Tazer, tazer, tazer" before shocking them. Of course, he'd barely gotten the first word out of his mouth when they were hit.

Again there was weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Finally, PFC M and I interlocked legs, then arms, and when the current started I thought my left leg (the one to which the electrode was attached) was going to be torn unceremoniously from my body.

I believe the video has been posted to YouTube.

One of my "friends" said to me afterward, "Sir. It was great! You screamed like a schoolgirl."

Sigh.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

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Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Life in the morgue


SPC C and I hitched a ride with the Command Sergeant Major and his driver down to Summer Camp - The Haunting on Monday morning. We'd been told we could travel down on the Commanding General's helicopters early Monday afternoon, but the sky was still very cloudy Monday morning, and I didn't want to get stranded, again, at Post when all my Soldiers were down at the Urban Operations Training Center.

I'd not slept well Sunday night, so I snoozed in the back seat as we drove to the other base.

It's a former Pediatric Psychatric Hospital that became notorious for highly-publicized abuse cases (horrific in the telling), and was ultimately ordered to be closed in 2002 or 2003, I think.

The National Guard took over the place (1000 acres, 70 buildings, more than a mile of tunnels under the complex) a year or so after it closed, and turned it into an urban operations training center. It's reputed (by them, anyway!) to be one of the premier training sites in the world for that sort of military operation.

It's also reputed to be haunted, which I've mentioned before.

Some of the Soldiers are really wigged out about this hype, and by the time my Chaplain Assistant and I arrived there Monday, quite a few Soldiers had gone "ghost hunting" Saturday and Sunday nights.

The barracks in which SPC C and I were given a room is a building that has a very large morgue in its basement.

Soldiers told me they had photos of themselves taken as they were lying on the slabs in the morgue, and even in the once-refrigerated wall lockers.

I declined the invitation to partake in the festivities.

I may be a bit macabre in my humor, but I do have limits.

I really do.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

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Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Summer Camp -- The Haunting


SPC C, my trustworthy Chaplain Assistant, and I were supposed to be driven down to Summer Camp -- The Haunting late in the afternoon on Sunday, well after the other troops from our Battalion arrived there on Saturday. I was scheduled to do Mass on Saturday night and then again Sunday afternoon in the Post Chapel here at Summer Camp - North, so SPC C and I just stayed behind as everyone else left.

After Mass on Sunday, as we were waiting for our ride, the Chapel staff discovered that SPC C had his rifle with him, which they'd somehow managed not to figure into the equation, and this presented a huge problem. The Post won't transport a weapon without an armed escort; no escort had been requested, and as it was a holiday weekend (for everyone else, not for us!), there was no one who could carry a loaded M9 (pistol).

I suggested to the Brigade Chaplain, who covers down on the Aviation unit assigned to our Task Force going to Kosovo, that perhaps he could check with his flyboys to see if there were a helicopter mission Sunday night.

There was!

After calls to Fort Knox (really!) and elsewhere, we were told to show up at the flight deck at 2100 hours (9 p.m.) to await our airborne transportation. SPC C had not yet flown on a helicopter, so I was pumped that he was going to get a chance to experience that kind of flying. Granted, there wouldn't be much to see, as it's very dark by 2100 in these parts, but flying in the dark over desolate areas in the Iraqi battlespace where MSG McG and I served was still a blast.

I made sure we got to the flight deck by 2040, just to be on time. We had a lot of gear with us (we'd be gone almost a week), in addition to our battle rattle, which we were wearing.

The aviation trainers were going to send the birds out on a simulated casualty evacuation, and upon the return of the aircraft to base they'd immediately be tasked with an emergency medical transfer: SPC C would be the patient, and I'd be the Chaplain, traveling with him.

It sounded fun, and we were encouraged to "act".

Just my kind of thing!

We heard the "9-line" (highly-scripted formula for communicating information about the medevac situation) broadcast over the communications equipment in the flight ops building at 2130. The mission was expected to take about 45 - 50 minutes in total, with the helicopters landing to refuel before returning to base. Then we'd be collected, and our gear loaded onto the aircraft for the 15-minute jaunt to Summer Camp - The Haunting.

Except that ten minutes before the birds returned I saw lightning streak across the sky. Bad omen.

Especially since the planes in Iraq would not fly during an electrical storm.

More lightning. And wind. And then thunder in the distance.

I told SPC C that he'd not be getting his plane flight, unfortunately. I tried to find someone by phone on Post who could come pick us up, since it was now pretty late, and the guy who'd dropped us off had certainly gone to bed.

I roused the Executive Officer (my boss; XO) and he said he'd find someone who could come get us if we needed to be picked up. As I was on the phone with the XO, the mission was officially scrubbed, so I was grateful we wouldn't have to wait long to get back to the barracks and get to bed.

Shortly after we arrived back "home," it started to rain cats and dogs, and we were treated to a good old-fashioned midwestern thunderstorm that rattled walls and windows and drummed noisily on the roof. The storm continued for hours, because every time I woke up (I do that a lot, unfortunately) it was still storming.

It's 0600 now, and still raining, though there seems to be no more lightning and thunder.

We never had a storm like this while I was in Iraq, and it hardly ever rains in this manner in California where I live, so it's been a long time since I've been in a storm of this ferocity.

Nothing like a raging storm to give one perspective on one's place in the universe, eh?

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ


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Monday, September 07, 2009

Happy Birthday, Sis!

Today is my sister's birthday.

Happy birthday, Sis! I'm glad you were born.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ
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Sunday, September 06, 2009

The latest....


So FedEx twice claims to have come to our headquarters to pick up my computer so that Dell can repair it at their factory, and twice no one here saw them, so my computer was not picked up.

Can you believe it?

One of my friends who's been reading the blog evidently forwarded a couple of my blog posts to someone who's big at Dell, so after the second time FedEx missed picking up the computer, that individual sent me an airbill so the computer can go overnight express right to the person's desk at Dell.

I'm off to Summer Camp - The Haunting in a little while, so I'm hoping that while I'm gone the computer will wend its way 'home' to Dell and then back to me. We'll see!

In the meantime, since I won't have internet access for the next six days (most probably), I may not be able to post updates about life on our way to Kosovo until we get back.

The weather report indicates it's supposed to rain every day, so I guess the Army adage, "If it ain't rainin', we ain't trainin'" will apply.

I'll let you know how haunted the place really is; I'm amused that a number of the Soldiers are actually concerned about that! I just tell them, "you can put your ghost up against my God anyday!"

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

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Saturday, September 05, 2009

Earning my keep


For being a unit that hasn't had a Chaplain in quite some years, the Soldiers in my Battalion certainly seem to know what a Chaplain is for, because I've been busy since I arrived at Summer Camp - West last month.

If it's not a Soldier or his/her buddy coming to me to ask for some time, it's someone in a Soldier's Chain of Command who hits me up about talking with that Soldier. I'm loving it.

Especially when I find myself in the presence of someone who's carrying an incredible emotional burden of one sort or another, I'm very grateful to my friends over the years who have gone to lots and lots of Al-Anon meetings.

For almost three decades now they've been reminding me that "messiah" is not part of *my* job description, and that's a crucial piece of information to retain in the forefront of my consciousness when I'm faced with the life situations some of my Soldiers find themselves in.

Were it not for that truth -- "messiah" is NOT my job description -- it would be easy to get overwhelmed (or at least grandiose) as a result of others' pain. My friends who go to a lot of Al-Anon meetings talk about "detaching with love," something that sounds simple in the abstract, but can be quite tricky in the execution. Absolutely necessary, though.

"As much as you love them, Tim," my friends have told me for so long, "you can have a God who loves them even more. So get out of God's way, and let that happen!"

Their experience, strength, and hope have sustained me through a lot thus far, and continue to nourish my spirit in this latest adventure.

Good thing, too, because you'd be amazed at the situations my Soldiers find themselves in -- even before we've gone overseas.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

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Friday, September 04, 2009

Dell Update


The wayward FedEx box from Dell was eventually found (it had gone to another unit on Post because part of the address had been left off), but much to my chagrin, the box will be going via ground rather than via next-day delivery.

The clock is ticking, and with each passing day, given all the mishaps thus far, the chances of my leaving the country without my computer continue to mount.

Take yesterday, for example.

FedEx claims to have stopped by our TOC (tactical operations center = headquarters) and found no box to be picked up. This seems a bit odd, since someone was in the building at all times, and no one saw or spoke to anyone from FedEx.

Sigh.

We'll see if FedEx collects the box with my computer in it today!

If not, since we're going to the field for a week, there will be no way to get the computer fixed before we leave for Europe....

Life is nothing if not interesting, nicht Wahr?

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ
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Thursday, September 03, 2009

Sheesh!


Dell sent a FedEx box to the Armory in California, as I wrote previously, and then sent another to me here, which arrived Tuesday, but then promptly disappeared. The folks at the Mail Center signed for it, and then other folks from our higher Task Force signed for it, and then it went AWOL.

How do you spell "frustrating"?

I eventually got the box yesterday evening, and was able to pack up my computer, call FedEx and arrange for pick-up today. I was very surprised to find out that I'll be shipping the thing back to them via ground, but at least it should be on its way sometime today.

Meanwhile, we're gearing up for our Command Post Exercise (CPX) and various Situational Training Exercise (STX) lanes down at the Haunted Forest. Some members of the Headquarters Company will be staying here at Summer Camp - North while the rest of us go down south to the other site.

I found out that some of us going down there can do so via helicopter (yay!), but that I won't be one of them (boo!) since I'm staying around to say Mass here on Post Saturday night, and then will bus down there with the other stragglers. I'll be back on Sunday to say Mass again up here, and then return down there afterward, Sunday evening.

Could it be more confusing? Or gasoline-intensive?

It's all good.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ
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Wednesday, September 02, 2009

31


Thirty-one years ago tomorrow I joined the Society of Jesus.

Last year on this date I was in Iraq wearing the uniform of the United States Army -- something I'd never imagined myself doing, as I've previously mentioned -- and today I find myself on Active Duty again (still?) and on my way to Kosovo, ultimately.

God's providence and sense of humor continue to surprise and delight and often flummox me....

Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ
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Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Over the river and through the woods....


It looks as though we'll be going off for about a week to train at a place that's reputed to be haunted, so that could be something a bit different from my usual routine.

If indeed that comes to pass this weekend, I'll be off-line during all that time (and may not even have phone access), so please be patient, and I'll catch you up when I'm able.

In the meantime, Happy September!

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ
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