Friday, January 25, 2013

How can I keep from singing?

Though I majored in music (and biology) when I was in college, and though I've flirted with voice lessons from time to time, it's taken me a long time to get used to singing in public.  This year at the retreat I've taken it upon myself to anchor the a cappella congregational singing at Mass.  I've also managed an a cappella solo meditation each time, as well.

I suspect because I'm so grateful to be with my tribe, especially given the imminence of yet another deployment, and the fact that it's been so many years since I've been with these guys in this place, I can't help but sing.

Friends of mine who go to a lot of AA and Al-Anon meetings (and there seem to be quite a number of them here) keep encouraging me to live in the present moment, which often seems so easy a goal, at least on paper.  However, in the crunch times, and in particular when my broken brain tries to get the better of me (or the best of me, I suppose), I find it all too easy to lose track of the "now" and get lost in the "now what?" -- inevitably leading to scads of completely optional unmanageability.

With so much to do before shipping out, and days rushing by with no further elucidation of what's needed by when and in what place, I'm having to work at staying in the "now."

Funny how I feel much more like singing when I'm capable of accomplishing *that* mission.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ
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