Curmudgeon: An Unlikely Army Chaplain

Sunday, May 17, 2009

A feather in your cap....

One of my buddies, who'd been deployed over here to Iraq three times (and each of those three times brought all of his Infantrymen home alive, if a bit worse for wear), had decided he'd had enough of the Army, and left Active Duty. No one was more surprised by this turn of events than I. Of all the Soldiers I knew, I figured CPT J to be a lifer, for sure.

He and his men had been through the wringer over here, and he was pretty angry about how civilians (mostly) were (mis)managing things, so he got out.

I was pretty certain he'd not thrive if he weren't putting a uniform on, on a regular basis. He's just that kind of guy.

Sure enough, a while ago now, he mentioned to me that he'd joined a Reserve Component unit, and would be doing the "one weekend a month, two weeks in the summer" thing until his mandatory term of service was completed. It seems that friends of his who'd stayed in the Individual Ready Reserve (IRR) had already been called up and deployed, and he worked some drug deal or other whereby if he drilled on weekends with a unit, the Army promised not to deploy him for a time which will exceed the amount of time left on his contract.

He'd already been stop-lossed so the Army could send him on his third combat deployment, so this plan would keep him in uniform, but out of the pool (at least, supposedly) of Officers who will deploy in the next year or so.

Anyway, we were talking on the phone last weekend, he and I, and I'm not really sure what he was blathering on about (we both blather a lot, so that's a lot of blathering between us, and hard to keep track of), but at one point he said, of something he'd done for his unit that day, "Well, that will be a feather in my cap."

I responded with, "Or in your tar."

Now the phone connection between Down Range and Down Home is surprisingly good at times, and frustratingly bad on other occasions. CPT J thought I'd said something about a car, so he expressed some confusion and exasperation (I say some pretty off-the-wall things, a propos of nothing in particular, so his reaction was understandable and appropriate).

I managed to make clear that I had attempted an off-the-cuff pun: "Tar. As in 'tarred and feathered' -- sheesh!" (As an aside, that punishment was a particularly cruel and brutal one, and a person could die from the burns from the hot tar....)

Well, CPT J began hooting and hollering. He just thought that was the best thing since sliced bread, or something. "'That'll be a feather in you cap or a feather in your tar!' It's perfect for the Army!"

He even wrote about this on his Facebook page.

What's up with that?

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Saturday, May 16, 2009

A visitor

Probably six weeks or so ago, while it was still reasonably cool (yesterday it was almost body temperature outside in the sun), and there was enough rain to support the flowering of the local vegetation, SFC McG noticed a butterfly that had managed to get trapped inside our office at work.

It seemed intent upon not being caught.

I respect that in a butterfly.

So I turned down the thermostat, and turned all the air conditioners on, and went back to my CHU (containerized housing unit; my upscale dumpster dwelling) for the night. As I'd figured, the office was

very cool the next morning -- quite delightful, actually -- and the butterfly was pretty sluggish.

To be honest, it reminded me of myself before I got sober....

I was able to get close to it with the camera, and even to pick it up.

After I photographed it, I took it out into the bright and warm sunlight, and after a moment it swooshed up into the air and out of sight.

(The last photo shows one of these critters out in the field, as it's enjoying a wild geranium blossom.)

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Friday, May 15, 2009

Memorial Ceremonies

We've had memorial ceremonies for the last two days in the chapel nearest where I work.

I've sat near the back each time (I am a Catholic, after all, right?).

This has meant that I've been right near the back door on the side of the building next to which the firing party has stationed itself. At the end of the final roll call, after the name of the fallen comrade has met with silence, three times, the twenty-one gun salute is fired into the silence.

The sound of the seven rifles firing in unison is very loud through that open door immediately to my left....

Requiescant in pace. Amen.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Happy Birthday, Sis!

Today is my younger sister's birthday.

Happy birthday, Sis!

I'm glad you were born.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Tragedy -- addendum

One of my good friends here Down Range was in the clinic Monday as the shooting started, but was unarmed -- not a surprise on either account, and not a failure or lack of foresight on my friend's part.

This friend narrowly escaped alive.

After hearing my friend tell the story of what happened there, I believe my friend was instrumental in directing some other terrified Soldiers to safety. My friend retained as calm a demeanor as possible in the face of an armed assailant, when everyone else was unarmed.

My friend is someone who's been going to a lot of AA meetings for a while now.

It truly is a miracle (an unfortunately-trivialized word these days, but absolutely appropriate here in this context, in its true meaning) that my friend did not drink or otherwise do any self-harm in the aftermath of the horror.

Survivor guilt poisons rational thinking.

Understandable, but unhelpful in excelsis.

I had to go out by convoy on an overnight mission Monday afternoon, and needed to leave the scene of the tragedy as soon as I'd done my part. Thus my first opportunity to speak with this friend happened almost 48 hours after my friend's harrowing escape. The burden of what I had experienced at the clinic -- after the fact -- had seemed fairly heavy to me, until my friend and I spoke.

What my friend endured in that clinic after the first shots echoed through the building, and has had to shoulder in the meantime, stupifies me. My tangential contact with the situation pales in comparison. My friend intuitively knew how to handle a situation which would have baffled the rest of us -- to mangle a phrase my friends who go to a lot of AA meetings often use -- but my friend cannot yet see this.

Please, please continue to pray for my friend, and for the other survivors.

Survivor guilt poisons rational thinking.

The road ahead will be very, very difficult for them.

Thank you for all your prayers for everyone involved.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Simple thanks

I'm very grateful to all who've written emails, or left messages of support here on the blog, or over at Facebook.

I am in awe of personnel who face tragic and scary and unimaginable situations day after day after day over here or in Afghanistan or wherever.

I just hope I can be of service to some of them. They truly are heroes.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Hope in the desert

One of the smaller outposts that SFC McG and I visit is a place completely devoid of trees and bushes. The only plant life consists of some small weeds, and only when there's been some rain and it's not too hot.

It was a delight to be back home during R&R in January, in part because there were hills and the hills were green. There were trees all over the place. Given that I was in California, there were even flowers blooming outside, despite it being the dead of winter.

On the other hand, everything in this part of this country is stultifyingly flat. Where I live (and most of the places I visit on my trips outside the wire) everything is monochromatic grays, or maybe browns, if I'm lucky.

To be fair, there is at least water near where I live, and during the winter and spring there can be lots of green, tall grasses along the water's edge. There are even quite a number of lakes over on another part of Post, and a lot more vegetation. (Probably not a surprise that that's where the 'important' people are!) One of the chapels where I'm saying Mass on Saturday evenings these days forms its own peninsula in one of those lakes, and last weekend the sun set -- rather spectacularly -- over the water as we conducted the liturgy.

That was lovely, if a bit distracting.

I'm not sure why green and growing things have always fed my spirit, but they have, from childhood (which has actually continued for almost 53 years now, others are eager to point out to me; the bad news I guess is that I'll not get the chance to have a "second childhood" as there will have been only one...). When I see lush plant life, I smile. Surrounded by plants in the greenhouse Dad built me when I was young, I felt hopeful and safe.

Perhaps that's one reason why I love photographing flowers so much.

In any event, it will be good to leave this desert and get home in a few weeks, if all goes well!

Last month I was at the aforementioned vegetation-challenged outpost shortly after we'd had several days of rain (perhaps the last I'll see during my time here). The temperature was in the 30s (Celsius) that day (40 degrees Celsius = 104 degrees Fahrenheit), so it was actually quite humid. That hasn't happened all that often since I've been here; it's usually arid.

I noticed that someone had evidently dug up one of the wild geraniums that had appeared, and had transplanted it into a makeshift flower pot. I suspect that Soldier, like me, found the apparent lifelessness of the place to be a bit oppressive. The little plant had flowered, but by the time I arrived, it was struggling against its confinement, or at least against summer's onslaught.

The audacity of hope.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Tragedy

Yesterday was a difficult day here Down Range.

I happened to be nearby to the scene of the tragedy you've probably read about online or in the print media. I suspect I will never forget what happened here, or what I experienced because of the fact of my being a Catholic priest.

All other things being equal, I also hope I never have to experience anything similar again.

Please pray for peace for all involved. Many tears have been shed already, and unfortunately, there are many more yet to be shed.

Blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Monday, May 11, 2009

A typical sunset

The sunrises and sunsets here Down Range can be quite splendid.

Recently, SFC McG and I went outside the wire via convoy so I could say Mass for the personnel there. As Mass finished and we were on our way back to the vehicles to mount up for the journey back 'home', I noticed the spectacular colors of the western sky as the sun sank below the horizon.

In this view, one can see an aerostat silhouetted against the luminous clouds, and in the foreground, in front of the ever-present blast walls, the ubiquitous porta-potties.

Ah! Where would we be without *them*?

Life is good.

Easter blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Flora and fauna

As you might have guessed by now, if you've been reading this blog of late, I really enjoy taking close-up photos of flowers and insects.

This particular critter really

liked this flower, and hung around for quite a while, despite my own hovering around with the camera. Can you see the in-flight shot I managed, despite my tremor, and the not-so-great optics of the camera?

One day, I hope to be able to get a better instrument for taking my flower photos, which would enable me to do a much better job of capturing the exquisite detail which can only be seen through a good lens....

Easter blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Saturday, May 09, 2009

An Anniversary....

I'd not thought of this until now, but today is the 28th anniversary of my First Vows in the Society of Jesus.

It seems almost to have been a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away at this point....

Easter blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

It's a grand old flag

Not long ago we had a rather famous visitor to our AO (Area of Operations), and as it turned out, before that event, preparations were made which included hanging a rather impressive US flag in the rotunda of one of the places where I celebrate Mass.

After Mass that evening, as SFC McG and I were leaving the building, we stopped in the rotunda and spoke with a couple of Soldiers who'd been at Mass. Upon seeing some other people having their photos taken in front of the flag, I asked one of those Soldiers (who shall remain nameless because of having a very recognizable last name) to snap a couple of photos of the 142d Chaplain Detachment before the flag.

You can get some idea of the grand scale of the room, and of the flag, by how tiny the two of us appear in perspective.

Easter blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Friday, May 08, 2009

Lunacy

Last night the moon appeared to be full again.

We've been having a lot of dust in the air of late, which has played havoc with my upper respiratory system (again, still). But last night there was much less airborne crud (and no, that's certainly NOT a sly and backhanded diss of folks with wings; my friend CPT M recently graduated from that school, and I'm a bit envious, to be honest), and so the full moon was very visible, but within a hazy areola of light.

I've been very aware of the phases of the moon since arriving over here at the new moon in August, perhaps because I wind up in so many places that still practice light discipline at night. So if there's no moon to be seen, it's pretty dark.

Here at Camp Cupcake we seem not to care much about night light, so there's often a lot of it. Not that I'm complaining, mind you! I've lost count of the number of times I've stumbled at night because of the uneven terrain and/or the rocks that pass for 'gravel' when it's been really dark out.

This wouldn't be so bad, except that it seems more often than not that it's my left ankle that bears the brunt of the affront, the same ankle that I damaged during Chaplain Basic Training, and again during the First Army training we did in California in February and March of 2008.

That ankle hurts pretty much constantly these days, but as there's no podiatrist ready-to-hand (or foot, I suppose, in this case), I just make do.

Anyway, the moon was full again last night -- the tenth full moon I've witnessed here in Iraq, and probably the penultimate, if things go as planned. The temperature was warm, but not unpleasant (though I suspect I won't be able to say *that* much longer about being here!), as I walked back to the office after chow. (The meat loaf was OK, but definitely NOT as delicious as Mom's!)

Earlier last evening, I'd found myself in the company of about a half-dozen guys who go to a lot of AA meetings, none of whom seemed particularly crazed at the moment (well, other than me, I suppose). Over the past almost thirty years I have, in fact, often been with recovering alcoholics in large metropolitan areas around the time of the full moon, and quite a number of them have been pretty squirrelly to say the least.

But as I walked back in the bright but diffuse light of that full moon last night, I realized that I've not noticed a large uptick in the general craziness of this or any post during any of the full moons I've seen since I've been here.

Maybe that's because of the general lunacy of the place (or me!) to begin with....

Or maybe not.

Easter blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Thanks!

My good friend Steve C, who goes to a lot of AA and Al-Anon meetings all over the United States, and whom I've known since he was ten years old, recently sent me a couple of envelopes filled with medallions commonly given out at AA meetings (I'm told), so that I could share them with the AA group that meets here on the post where I live.

They've been having between six to nine people at each meeting of late, which is quite a change from last fall when I arrived here, when there was often only one person, for weeks at a time.

Many thanks to Steve and his friends in recovery for their generosity and for the reminder of sober support from the home front!

Easter blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

A little help....

Despite the existence of General Order 1B (basically, the "Thou Shalt Nots" of Soldiers over here Down Range, one of which is, effectively, "Thou Shalt Not Drink Drunkenly (or Otherwise))," there are quite a surprising number of alcohol violations that occur over here.

I recently came to know a young man who's being chaptered out of the Army because of his alcohol violations of General Order 1B, and the anger issues consequent to imbibing spirits (to include chugging bottles of Nyquil). Evidently some 'professional' over here has branded him "antisocial" which another 'professional' -- via email -- told the young man's Commander meant the Army was really diagnosing him as a sociopath, but without using that designation.

Now I realize that I'm no psychiatrist -- nor would I want to be -- but after almost 30 years of meeting and getting to know newly-sober individuals, I'm not surprised to find out that this young man has behaved in a shockingly antisocial and very angry manner when drunk. When drunk!

Duh.

But to jump to the conclusion that he's therefore a sociopath? Sheesh. I suspect the 'professional' doesn't know very much about alcoholism, or at least hasn't followed the recovery of very many alcoholics.

Honestly!

Anyway the young man has been coming to the AA meetings on post for the last month, and according to friends of mine who go to a lot of those meetings, has been brutally honest (quite an achievement for a drunk!) and working hard at staying sober. They (and I) feel very hopeful for him, if he continues to work the program. He almost has 30 days' sobriety at this point.

Because his Commander is now spooked that he's a sociopath, there's a push to remove him from here as soon as possible. His unit is scheduled to redeploy next month. He'd like to return home with them, if possible. This would give him the added benefit of being able to continue meetings over here where alcohol is much less easily come by than back home.

It looks as though that's not going to happen, however.

So, if anybody has any AA contacts at/near Ft. Drum, New York, if you'd be so kind as to let me know, I'd very much appreciate it. My hope would be to be able to hook him up with a temporary AA sponsor (perhaps even a Soldier?) who could essentially meet him as he got off the plane, and help him get situated in AA immediately upon his return home.

He's quite concerned (with good reason) that he'll go right back to drinking once he's back in a familiar environment, and suddenly without a job, lodging, etc., and having to deal with the shame of being chaptered out of the military.

It's my understanding that a number of recovering alcoholics take a look at this blog from time to time, so if anyone's able to help with some contact information, that would be a blessing to all concerned. cptdrfrtim (a t) g m a i l (dot) c o m (You can figure it out....)

Many thanks, in advance!

Easter blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Monosodium glutamate (MSG)

Here's what Wikipedia has to say about monosodium glutamate:

(The last time I quoted from Wikipedia I wound up in quite a bit of trouble, so I'm hoping history won't repeat itself....)

Monosodium glutamate (MSG) seems as if it ought to be a rather odd topic of conversation on a blog written by a curmudgeonly old, irascible Army Chaplain. And indeed it is. (Though, to be fair, given my molecularneurobiologistic leanings, it might, in fact, not be such a surprise, were one to ponder the matter for any significant length of time....)

All that notwithstanding, I've been thinking about MSG since last night, however, and figured I needed to mention it here. Did you realize that in addition to representing 'monosodium glutamate', MSG also abbreviates "Master Sergeant" in the Army?

As soon as the Army cuts the orders, SFC McG will become MSG McG, since we found out yesterday that he is #1 on the promotion list to Master Sergeant. This means that in the Guard there's only one higher rank one might achieve as an Enlisted Soldier, so soon-to-be MSG McG is among the best of the best.

Since there's a slot available, he's eligible to be promoted as soon as the paperwork gets done.

I just hope the Army makes this happen while he and I are still here Down Range, so that we can have an appropriate celebration to which his myriad friends over here will be invited.

MSG McG

It has a nice ring to it.

Congratulations, my friend! (And "Mrs. MSG McG" scans even better than does "Mrs. SFC McG," so congratulations to her, too!)

Easter blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Close-ups

At one of the FOBs that SFC McG and I visit on a regular basis, in what used

to be known as the "Triangle of Death," there's a restaurant run by a couple of 'local nationals' -- Iraqis. The Soldiers call them "Jimmy and Timmy," but I suspect those might not be their actual Iraqi names....

The food is pretty good, and fairly inexpensive, so I've taken to treating SFC McG and the Chaplain Assistant from that place to dinner when we're there. (The food in the DFAC (dining facility) is reputed to be

pretty iffy; there was a massive outbreak of food poisoning earlier in the

deployment of the personnel there. So far, I've not had any problems eating at that DFAC, but it just seems prudent to avoid it, given that there's an alternative recommended by the Soldiers and Airmen at that post.)

I noticed two weeks ago that either Timmy or Jimmy (presumably) had put out a number of flower pots with pansies, roses, and other flowers in front of their shop, in an effort to beautify what is otherwise a pretty drab environment. I didn't have my camera then,

and so didn't get any photos. Last week we didn't eat there, so I didn't get photos, either.

This week, because of the heat, and the ease of forgetting to water those small flower pots several times per day, the flowers are looking pretty ragged, but there are still a few that were worth photographing.

Even though my tiny camera is pretty beat up now, after ten months here, and

probably loaded with dust inside (which can't be a good thing), a few of the photos are quite beautiful, so I wanted to share them. I have long loved to take close-ups of flowers, and the advent of affordable digital photography made this hobby a lot more fun.

The intricacy of the floral structures, coupled with the beautiful shapes and colors found therein, always brings me to a place of deep gratitude and awe.

Easter blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Monday, May 04, 2009

Logistics, for now

Since I'll be getting two weeks off between this tour and the train-up for my next deployment, I've begun packing for the trip home.

To that end, if you're thinking about sending things, you might want to send be sure to get them to the post office prior to 21MAY09 (let's say), just to be sure I receive your largesse before I leave for home.

I suspect the Guard Soldiers I'll be with in Kosovo will want/need goodies from home (as well as, perhaps, the other U.N. peacekeepers there), so if you had had your heart set on sending something, but just never got around to it, there's still a chance. It'll just need to wait a bit.

If nothing else, it looks as though I'll get two months of "Summer Camp" in the Midwest (familiar to any of my friends from the "All For One" Battalion), instead of just the single month of hell down South last summer prior to coming Down Range (though I do have to return there before I can get home...).

(It might be nice to get sweet surprises in the mail while we're at Summer Camp this summer, especially as I'll be the Chaplain to a whole Battalion, and not just to my Chaplain Assistant!)

Easter blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Mad Hatters

I'd mentioned a while back that SFC McG and I are now authorized to wear Stetsons, given our association with the unit we're attached to.

Several readers wrote to ask when they might see us in our new chapeaux, so while we were out and about one day recently, we took along our Guidon and our Stetsons, and had ourselves memorialized photographically in front of one of the chapels we'd visited.

It's hard to see that the center portion of the Chaplain Corps insignia on the sign behind us is the crest on our Guidon. I guess you'll just have to take my word for it....

We're also authorized gold spurs, having completed over 100 combat missions to date, but we didn't bring them along on this excursion.

Who knew?

Easter blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Planning for the future

As the Pastor of this "parish" that has eleven weekend Masses, some of which are scheduled at the same time, I tasked SFC McGee to come up with three courses of action to deal with the almost-certain eventuality of having just one priest overseeing the whole operation, now that it's clear that my tour over here will not be extended.

SFC McG is a whiz at plans and operations.

It makes it harder that the other priest who's here has not mastered the art of bilocation (probably because he's not a Jesuit?), which means that we won't be able to maintain the practice of having Sunday Masses occurring simultaneously in different chapels here on post. Unfortunately, then, we'll be moving the day, time, and place of some of these liturgies, but SFC McG has come up with an alternative which ought to work pretty well.

As it stands, it looks as though Fr. J will have eight weekend Masses to cover -- in addition to his regular duties as a Battalion Chaplain. He's going to be very, very busy. In one month he will have preached much more often than many other Chaplains over here who are deployed for fifteen months. He's up to it, certainly, but it will be a rigorous schedule, to be sure!

That such a large post would have only one priest some weekends says a lot about the shortage of priests in the Army. Or something.

Easter blessings and peace to one and all,

Fr. Tim, SJ